Life after Tragedy
As the Public Inquiry into the mass shooting of April 18-19th was approaching, the Mass Casualty Commission asked the public how the massacre has affected their lives?
Sophia shares honestly about how unrecognizable she was right after the events.
She withdrew from socialization for a year and a half and dealt with her feelings of hopelessness and fear by micro-managing her environment with A LOT of OCD tendencies.
We talk about big picture questions, like “Why now, with the girls so young (they were 11 and 13)?” and “Why us, why our family?”
Sophia expresses how important it was for her to process it all with us, since it might have been too much for her friends.
She talks about her school experience, post massacre, during a pandemic. She wanted to talk about it and no one acknowledged it.
She wishes someone would approach her and say, “I’m holding space for you and I want you to know I’m here for you, for whatever you need.”
This experience has inspired Sophia to increase awareness into trauma-informed best practices.
After a small poll regarding trauma with her peers, she concluded that the majority of teens have been traumatized.
Jenny talked about the prevalence of traumatized kids and how they act out to cope. She believes trauma literacy needs to become more of a priority in all of our workplaces.
Jenny shared a quote by John Eldredge “The accumulation of event after event that we’re assaulted by, erodes our confidence that we are a part of something grand and good and reduces us to a survival mindset.”
She then went on to share the common feelings of being anxious, overwhelmed, scared, irritable like a wild animal, much of the time after the April event.
Jenny notices that her life is divided into life before and life after the massacre.
She has noticed way more fear and has grown super cautious.
And anger? Jenny notices a deep rage surface when she sees her sister’s name on the news in google.
She’s thankful she’s got tools to self-regulate, like RBC (relax, breath, choose) which she explains in her Mindfulness in Schools Manual.
Both agreed that it’s too much to take in for a reasonable mind, since what he did was in such a state of insanity.
We hope this conversation supports your own healing journey. We invite you too to talk it out, with a family member or a professional, because it really does help.
We’d love to hear your feedback so feel free leave a review!
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I am speechless! Sophia you are so knowledgeable beyond your years. You and Jenny have such beautiful voices that were so calming even with the details you were honest to share. Thank you for your honesty. I can relate to living with OCD. Covid exacerbated it. I feel I carry some survival guilt 😔.. Lisa was a former colleague and I considered her a good friend. I pursued a home near her back in 2018. We had plans to have weekend meet ups for a campfire and share our love for the land. The deal on the house did not materialize after an inspection caused us to walk away. That house turned out to then be purchased by the Zahl family. I feel incredible guilt because I know it could have been me and my husband that could have been killed that night. Another connection I have to you is the precious children of Lisa. I was Alex’s Teacher in Grade 4. My last year at Chiganois. It was around the same time Lisa was trying to advocate for sweet Marcus when he was experiencing the effects of PANDA. Lisa needed a safe person that Marcus could come to when he needed support. I was that person for him and her as she worked each day. Those beautiful kids have been in my heart ❤ since the mass shooting. Thank you for all you do to offer yourselves through your work. I have received so much strength through you and Sophia. So grateful for you. Gina White
Hi Gina, I’m sorry to be responding so late, I’m technically a bit stunned and just getting the hang of it now:).
I’m so sorry to hear your close affiliation to all of this, and the what if’s.
Survival guilt is present for many of us, it’s difficult to comprehend.
I’m so pleased the kids had you as a safe refuge in their busy lives, they’ve been through more than anyone should ever have to endure.
Take care of yourself, and thank you for joining us on this podcast journey.
Jenny
I really appreciate you telling us how you felt/feel after that horrible event. I have always wondered how it actually affected your daily life long term. We all lose loved ones but not like that. I dont know these families but it has impacted me in so many ways. I love to travel this beautiful province, down back roads etc. I now feel very nervous. I am more nervous in my own home and backyard at night, afraid that if someone in my area tried something would I be safe or saved in time. I too have so many questions and have lost much sleep and am more in tune to outside nouses than ever before. Not a day goes by that I don’t think k about it. The perpetrator lived right next door to one of my daughters good friends. What would have happened had he made it to Dartmouth. It’s terrible that any of you had to be so close to that situation and I am so sorry you did. I am glad you are Sharing. I am a firm believer I talking about what bothers us. It doesn’t make it go away but it seems to help a little more each time we do. Hearing your story has helped how I feel a bit. Kind of like, if you can do it, so can i sort of thing. Sorry if I have rambled. Thank you again for sharing. These are amazing.
Hi Donna, We’re just getting around to responding to our messages, this podcast thing is a learning experience:). Thanks for sharing so honestly about your own experience, I don’t think it matters if you knew him or any of the families affected, we’ve all been affected and your feelings are real. Hopefully over time, you’ll be able to step outside, relax in the presence of the starlit night and know you’re safe. May we all be safe. So much love, and thanks for walking this journey with us.
Jenny